Wednesday, 12 March 2014
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Thursday, 20 February 2014
Must read! Chimamanda Adichie writes on the anti-gay law
Article written by award winning writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie titled 'Why can’t he just be like everyone else?' Find it below...
I will call him Sochukwuma. A thin, smiling boy who liked to play with us girls at the university primary school in Nsukka. We were young. We knew he was different, we said, ‘he’s not like the other boys.’ But his was a benign and unquestioned difference; it was simply what it was. We did not have a name for him. We did not know the word ‘gay.’ He was Sochukwuma and he was friendly and he played oga so well that his side always won.
In secondary school, some boys in his class tried to throw Sochukwuma off a second floor balcony. They were strapping teenagers who had learned to notice, and fear, difference. They had a name for him. Homo. They mocked him because his hips swayed when he walked and his hands fluttered when he spoke. He brushed away their taunts, silently, sometimes grinning an uncomfortable grin. He must have wished that he could be what they wanted him to be. I imagine now how helplessly lonely he must have felt. The boys often asked, “Why can’t he just be like everyone else?”
Possible answers to that question
include ‘because he is abnormal,’ ‘because he is a sinner, ‘because he
chose the lifestyle.’ But the truest answer is ‘We don’t know.’ There is
humility and humanity in accepting that there are things we simply
don’t know. At the age of 8, Sochukwuma was obviously different. It was
not about sex, because it could not possibly have been – his hormones
were of course not yet fully formed – but it was an awareness of
himself, and other children’s awareness of him, as different. He could
not have ‘chosen the lifestyle’ because he was too young to do so. And
why would he – or anybody – choose to be homosexual in a world that
makes life so difficult for homosexuals?
The new law that criminalizes
homosexuality is popular among Nigerians. But it shows a failure of our
democracy, because the mark of a true democracy is not in the rule of
its majority but in the protection of its minority – otherwise mob
justice would be considered democratic. The law is also
unconstitutional, ambiguous, and a strange priority in a country with so
many real problems. Above all else, however, it is unjust. Even if this
was not a country of abysmal electricity supply where university
graduates are barely literate and people die of easily-treatable causes
and Boko Haram commits casual mass murders, this law would still be
unjust. We cannot be a just society unless we are able to accommodate
benign difference, accept benign difference, live and let live. We may
not understand homosexuality, we may find it personally abhorrent but
our response cannot be to criminalize it.
A crime is a crime for a reason. A crime
has victims. A crime harms society. On what basis is homosexuality a
crime? Adults do no harm to society in how they love and whom they love.
This is a law that will not prevent crime, but will, instead, lead to
crimes of violence: there are already, in different parts of Nigeria,
attacks on people ‘suspected’ of being gay. Ours is a society where men
are openly affectionate with one another. Men hold hands. Men hug each
other. Shall we now arrest friends who share a hotel room, or who walk
side by side? How do we determine the clunky expressions in the law –
‘mutually beneficial,’ ‘directly or indirectly?’
Many Nigerians support the law because
they believe the Bible condemns homosexuality. The Bible can be a basis
for how we choose to live our personal lives, but it cannot be a basis
for the laws we pass, not only because the holy books of different
religions do not have equal significance for all Nigerians but also
because the holy books are read differently by different people. The
Bible, for example, also condemns fornication and adultery and divorce,
but they are not crimes.
For supporters of the law, there seems
to be something about homosexuality that sets it apart. A sense that it
is not ‘normal.’ If we are part of a majority group, we tend to think
others in minority groups are abnormal, not because they have done
anything wrong, but because we have defined normal to be what we are and
since they are not like us, then they are abnormal. Supporters of the
law want a certain semblance of human homogeneity. But we cannot
legislate into existence a world that does not exist: the truth of our
human condition is that we are a diverse, multi-faceted species. The
measure of our humanity lies, in part, in how we think of those
different from us. We cannot – should not – have empathy only for people
who are like us.
Some supporters of the law have asked –
what is next, a marriage between a man and a dog?’ Or ‘have you seen
animals being gay?’ (Actually, studies show that there is homosexual
behavior in many species of animals.) But, quite simply, people are not
dogs, and to accept the premise – that a homosexual is comparable to an
animal – is inhumane. We cannot reduce the humanity of our fellow men
and women because of how and who they love. Some animals eat their own
kind, others desert their young. Shall we follow those examples, too?
Other supporters suggest that gay men
sexually abuse little boys. But pedophilia and homosexuality are two
very different things. There are men who abuse little girls, and women
who abuse little boys, and we do not presume that they do it because
they are heterosexuals. Child molestation is an ugly crime that is
committed by both straight and gay adults (this is why it is a crime:
children, by virtue of being non-adults, require protection and are
unable to give sexual consent).
There has also been some nationalist
posturing among supporters of the law. Homosexuality is ‘unafrican,’
they say, and we will not become like the west. The west is not exactly a
homosexual haven; acts of discrimination against homosexuals are not
uncommon in the US and Europe. But it is the idea of ‘unafricanness’
that is truly insidious. Sochukwuma was born of Igbo parents and had
Igbo grandparents and Igbo great-grandparents. He was born a person who
would romantically love other men. Many Nigerians know somebody like
him. The boy who behaved like a girl. The girl who behaved like a boy.
The effeminate man. The unusual woman. These were people we knew, people
like us, born and raised on African soil. How then are they
‘unafrican?’
If anything, it is the passage of the
law itself that is ‘unafrican.’ It goes against the values of tolerance
and ‘live and let live’ that are part of many African cultures. (In
1970s Igboland, Area Scatter was a popular musician, a man who dressed
like a woman, wore makeup, plaited his hair. We don’t know if he was gay
– I think he was – but if he performed today, he could conceivably be
sentenced to fourteen years in prison. For being who he is.) And it is
informed not by a home-grown debate but by a cynically borrowed one: we
turned on CNN and heard western countries debating ‘same sex marriage’
and we decided that we, too, would pass a law banning same sex marriage.
Where, in Nigeria, whose constitution defines marriage as being between
a man and a woman, has any homosexual asked for same-sex marriage?
This is an unjust law. It should be
repealed. Throughout history, many inhumane laws have been passed, and
have subsequently been repealed. Barack Obama, for example, would not be
here today had his parents obeyed American laws that criminalized
marriage between blacks and whites.
An acquaintance recently asked me, ‘if
you support gays, how would you have been born?’ Of course, there were
gay Nigerians when I was conceived. Gay people have existed as long as
humans have existed. They have always been a small percentage of the
human population. We don’t know why. What matters is this: Sochukwuma is
a Nigerian and his existence is not a crime.
Femi Kuti, D'banj, other African artistes collaborate on ONE theme song
The music which was produced by Cohbams Asuqwo was accompanied with a video shot by Godfather Production. See more photos after the cut...
56 year old Jane Cole fell for 28yr old Nigerian man and got her heart broken
But when she decided to take a break there with her friend Vanessa in 2005, she never thought she'd find herself caught up in one.
'I'm quite worldly-wise,' said Jane, from Rothwell, who considered herself too sensible to get embroiled with a younger man.
But then she met Michael, a 28-year-old Nigerian bartender, and his charming, attentive nature drew her in immediately.Lobatan...lol. Continue....
Michael quickly made it clear he wanted more than just a one-night stand while she was on holiday in the country. He wanted a relationship. 'I was completely sucked in,' said Jane.
When Michael proposed, Jane decided to keep it a secret from her younger sister Tracy, knowing she would disapprove. Instead, she flew to The Gambia and married him, leaving Tracy to call her a fool.
Michael said he wanted to move into Jane's house with her in the UK, even though she had set her heart on a new life in The Gambia, as they had discussed. Nonetheless, she loved him, so she agreed.
But as soon as the couple arrived in the UK, Jane began to question Michael's loyalty, especially when he began disappearing for long periods.
After calling a number that appeared frequently on his phone bill, she reached a woman with whom Michael had been having a relationship for six years.
'When I confronted Michael he just admitted it and laughed. "People laugh then they see us together," he said. I was devastated. My self-confidence sunk to an all-time low. He had drained me of everything, both financially and emotionally.'
'I blamed myself for being foolish and falling for it. I'm supposed to be intelligent but I never had an inkling. I believed everything he said. And if he had told me the woman was just a friend, I'd still have believed him.'
Tracy admits worrying that her sister might take her own life, because Michael had robbed her of everything. But Jane is not alone when it comes to confidence tricksters scamming women in matters of the heart on holiday.
Around 1,000 British people are victims of dating scams each year, according to the Office of National Statistics.
17 year old Bowen Student killed for rejecting sexual advances
Beautiful Opeyemi who was a 300 level student of Biochemistry at the Bowen University was to be raped but according to police report made available to Punch, she fought against it and was sadly stabbed to death, with her intestines ripped out. Continue...
Punch newspaper gave the account of the story as offered by an anonymous Police Officer
"In the afternoon of February 3rd 2014, the deceased went to buy to airtime for her phone. As she was returning, a group of cult members trailed and entered the house with her. Opeyemi was alone in the house when the boys entered. They instructed her to turn on the generator so that if she screamed no one would hear her. We believe they wanted to rape the girl but she must have put up a fierce struggle as the whole house was scattered. They guys subsequently stabbed her in the stomach several times and ripped out her intestine. After killing her they took her phone and the keys to her parent's vehicle, a jeep, which was on the table. They stole the jeep which was parked in the compound after killing the girl".
"By all indications, the girl was not raped because her clothes were intact. The knife used in killing her has been recovered.
After the murder, the guys used her phone to send her mother a text message saying "Your child has been proud. We have been toasting her, but she has refused to accept. We have killed her to teach a lesson. We have also driven your car away. If you want your car back, come to Lakas Hotel or Cele Bus Stop around Mile 2 to pick it up. If we see policemen around, we will kill everybody.”
The victim’s mother, Olayinka, had a panic attack after reading the
message and quickly told those around her. Then the family’s
housemaid called the mum to confirm what had happened. The woman
returned to the house to meet the lifeless body of her child.
Punch
reports that the distraught mum who is a senior official at the Mushin
Local Government Council has gone into great shock over the incident has
since been relocated to the camp ground of the Redeem Christian Church
of God.
The police are investigating the case. Too sad. May her soul rest in peace...amen.
Uti Nwachukwu confirms dating Saeon
"We don't know how it came to the knowledge of the public. Saeon likes her privacy just like me too." He saidAsked what he likes about her, Uti said "She's hardworking, focused and understanding". Uti said Saeon practically stops him from picking up her bills even when they travel out of the country. He also said he doesn't care that they are not from the same tribe "This is 2014, I care about her heart, not her tribe" he said. He didn't rule out the possibility of marriage in the future but said it was rather too early to think in that direction.
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